addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize