You work out of a Hotel?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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