saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
