Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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