We're like a lot better than the average bears
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
