Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
