Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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