I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
