R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just come out here and I will go home with you...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
