you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
