she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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