i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
