Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
