Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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