Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
