You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
