We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
