I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
