I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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