We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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