she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
