I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
