hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
