Cold hands, warm shart.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
