You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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