he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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