therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
