He told me they were just razor bumps!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
