Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
