Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
