the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
