Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
