So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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