the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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