Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
