so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
