i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
