Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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