we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Help me help you realize you are a moron
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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