You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
