we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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