He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
