apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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