Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
