I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your mouth is God's brothel.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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