and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
