And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
