Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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