New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
