didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
