Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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