Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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