And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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