the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
