PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
