Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
