around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
