So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
