He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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